12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize