spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
