I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
