why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
