I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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