sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
