Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
