if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize