I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
