So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
where are you?
Hypothermia
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
