a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
