i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
