It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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