yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Send help, water and tortillas.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize