I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
