You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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