Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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