ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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