I think I died a long time ago.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize