There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
