You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
