there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
