I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
