I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
