guys are not supposed to queef...right?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
