The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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