So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
