Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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