you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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