he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
