Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
