He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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