you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Randomize
