marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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