ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
