If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm bleeding and have questions
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize