i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
