She is in my trunk
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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