He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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