Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
false alarm, still single
Randomize
