I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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