rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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