My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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