I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
