You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
