Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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