too bad you live with your parents still
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
