i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
