you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
there was a trapeze. enough said
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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