The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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