I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
