i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
