We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize