i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
