He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
