have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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