is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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