he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
