remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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