it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I will pee on everything he values.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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